It's been a long time!

It's been a long time since I've posted. I'll be honest and say, I haven't thought much about writing lately; my life has been consumed with other things. I really need to put some energy into this, but I don't know where I'll find that energy right now. I'll let you know if something occurs to me.

I have been reading more lately. A lot actually. Right now, I've opened 3 books to read. I'm re-reading the Harry Potter series for about the 8th or 9th or 10th time (I've sorta lost track), and right now I'm on #6. I love those books. Such creativity and precision. I have at least obtained a copy of Water for Elephants, which I'm supposed to be reading for a book club. I still have until October to finish, so that might get pushed to the side. I've also started a non-fiction book, The Connected Child, that deals with adoption, something I'm learning a lot about right now.

When I finish at least the second 2, I'll write what I think about them. Hopefully before October.

Rediscovering the Greats

I've been inspired recently to read some novels that are older than I am. I re-read The Wizard of Oz some months ago (which I totally recommend!) and started Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. I haven't finished Alice, yet, but I'll get back to her.

Some friends and I have been doing a book club this summer and decided to crack open a classic: Death on the Nile by Agatha Christie. Agatha really was the queen of suspense. Even today, nearly 80 years after it was originally written, it stands up as a really enjoyable read. I would recommend it! In fact, I may have to pick up a few more of her books...I've heard she's written or two. ;)

I've also decided that it was time that I actually read some of the Jane Austen I've had in my bookshelf for years upon years. I've started with Sense and Sensibility, which is my favorite of the recent novel to movie adaptations that have been made in the last 15 or so years.

I'll let you know what I think when I finish it up.

Keeping it going...

I went to a writer's conference several years ago, and it was fantastic! I remember that one of the speakers talked about the importance of doing something creative everyday in order to keep the juices flowing. While I totally agree and think that's an awesome idea, I have to confess and say that I don't always do that. I just get easily distracted with other things and the creative side of me gets shunted to the side.

I keep up with a certain unnamed television program, and I recently discovered a page that allows fan fiction. Now, if I were a snob, I'd just make fun of the sorry attempts that some people make, but really, at least they're writing! So, I've found myself submitting little things...it seems silly, but I can't help but remember that admonishment to do something creative everyday. So, that's my excuse...I'm stretching my creative muscles.

Creatively speaking

I see faces in the trees and dogs in the clouds and sometimes, when I look just so, it seems like there's a little man in the flowers. I have a pretty active imagination. I almost always see things that aren't there when I look at everyday objects. Don't worry; I'm not crazy. I think I'm just still attuned to that child I was once long ago. I have really vivid dreams as well. I really think these dreams and images are just reminders that I have this well of creativity in me dying to be released onto the page. I just have to open the floodgates and believe that I can do it. That I have it in me to write something interesting, something that will impact those who read it. I don't always feel that way. Too often I criticize myself for not writing the way others write...either in style or in usage. But, isn't God a creative god? Doesn't he like creativity in the world? Look at all the different people that populate this earth. We are all so unique. Perhaps my dreams are just a reminder that God has uniquely created me to be me.

Ladies Book Club

Some ladies and myself from church have started a little book club. This month we're trying our hands at a little mystery, old school: Agatha Christie. Agatha truly is the grand dame of mystery. We're reading Death on the Nile, and I'm finding it quite enjoyable.

Her style of writing flows quickly (she's all about the dialogue with very little extra exposition), and she's created a number of interesting characters. In fact, as of chapter 6 we still don't know who the victim is intended to be. We were able to spot a number of potential victims as well as potential murderers. This is shaping up to be one crazy, dangerous cruise down the Nile!

I love sitting around talking story with people, so this has been a great opportunity to enjoy a good book and deepen some friendships along the way. And, who knows, maybe I'll keep reading Agatha's books. She wrote over 80 stories!

Chapter 32: A new direction

I went back in my editing process of W.t.W.W.Y.N. and changed it up a bit. I also completely changed the direction of the story. Hopefully this will reap myriad benefits in character development and moving the plot along. My original #32 was boring and lacked energy. I felt like the characters had run out of steam a mere 50 feet from the finish line. That is not the way a story should feel. But, now with a little danger and fear, I've ramped up the story and given the characters more to do. I'm really hoping this will help me to push through to the end of this particular story. I want to know how this ends, and I want to see it happen. Soon.

To Cut or Not to Cut, that is the Question

When I pick up a story again after a bit of time has passed, I always have to edit. I see things I missed before, I realize that a particular thread isn't working or that maybe character x should behave a different way about character y. It's just a given. I'm always going to find things wrong. That's why I have to re-read with a eye to the fact that the story will never be perfect. It's just not possible.

However, there comes a time when I realize that a great (in my opinion) portion of the story just doesn't work, and I have to cut it out. But, then I reason, maybe I can put it somewhere else. Sometimes that works. I have a particular cut in mind right now, and I'm hoping that I can rearrange it in the text and put it somewhere else. It just seems like such a good moment between two characters. It seems to reveal their hearts. Unfortunately, it no longer really fits with what comes before it. I'm going to try to fit in before, make that moment come earlier in the prose.

It's a bit like life I suppose. Sometimes we just have to recognize that what we're doing isn't working. No amount of ignoring problems, finagling situations, or manipulating people is going to change the facts. We are messed up people and we need to rely on the Author and Perfecter of our lives to bring our story to a satisfactory conclusion.

So, I'm off to make a few snips, and I'll let you know what the finished product looks like.

A thoughtful re-read

Recently it has felt as though I've been awakening from a long slumber. I've just been so overwhelmed with life and the chaos of impending change and so I've slipped into a kind of placid here and now. I wasn't really living, just going from day to day trying to survive with a modicum of grace and poise. Some days I've definitely been more successful than others. What can I say? I'm human.

Just over a month ago now I went on a women's retreat at Windemere in the Ozarks. It turned out to be an amazing time for me to reconnect with what's truly important in life and to wake up. Life is about more than getting by...there's so much more that I want for myself. I want to feel alive and useful and joyous and here in the moment of every minute. That retreat served as the alarm clock of life telling me to get my butt out of bed and get moving. I have things to offer. I have a purpose. My purpose is more than sitting in front of the television or the internet medicating myself into this numb state of oblivion. Life is messy and it's vibrant, and I want to be more than an observer.

One of the casualties of my self-medicating, intoxicating addiction to doing nothing was my creativity and my writing. I have stories in me that are dying to come out. I have something to say...something that God planted in me when I was still in the womb. I have a beautiful dream, and I've squandered it these past few months (years?), and that's not the way to live.

I have prided myself on being an independent, go for broke woman of God who doesn't let fear stop me from what needs to happen. Yet, somewhere along the way, I've gotten sidetracked, in fact, that's not the woman I've been. I've been distracted by fear and anxiety. That's not who God has called me to be. In 1 Peter 5:7 he proclaims through Peter "...cast your anxieties on the Lord for he cares for you." He cares for me! How crazy is that? I know I have a hard time believing it sometimes, but nonetheless, it's true. God loves me and wants more for me than I want for myself. Thank you God.

So, I've been going through this awakening process, and so much of it comes down to my writing. I have what it takes. I am not a failure...I have to remind myself of that. For whatever reason, I haven't successfully published a novel yet, but that doesn't mean I should give up. I need to write.

I hadn't read When Broken Sparrows Fly since I last edited it a few years ago. I'm a harsh critic, and I only see the problems with it. But, I felt led to re-read the story this weekend. And, guess what? There are still flaws and it's not perfect, but it's not half-bad either. Certainly better than some stuff I've read, though nowhere near as good as I'd like it to be. But, maybe the point wasn't for me edit this story anymore, maybe it was to jumpstart my desire to write in general. I have more to say. I just need to kick myself in the pants, and start putting those thoughts down.

I'll let you know how things are going with that.

CRASH! BANG! BOOM!

I have finally decided on a life threatening incident for W.t.W.W.Y.N. I think I'm going for a bad guy induced car accident. Something big and bad that shakes up the direction of the story. I really needed something to throw the story into a new direction and shake up the characters. We'll see if this works.

A tale not worth reading...

So, I'm reading this book right now, and it is really annoying. While the plot has some good points in its favor (a serial killer, on-line predator...), the author needs to brush up on her writing skills. The dialogue is sometimes laughably stupid, the plot points at times seem to fall to contrivance, there are barely any transitions, and worst of all, the author relies heavily on telling the reader what's going on rather than showing. When I read, I want to experience everything the characters are going through with them. I don't want the author to recap the last two days through thoughts or dialogue.

I realized as I was trudging through this story (which I must finish despite its only so-so writing) that reading something poorly written makes me want to write. I see that I can write...at least better than this. I just need to get to it!

writing what I know...how about what I feel?

I've realized lately that I don't like romance. I can write love and interest between a couple, but I can't put a lot of passion into it. I'm not talking the icky Harlequin version of passion (ya'll know what I'm talking about) but rather the passion of butterflies in the stomach and giddy emotions that come with the passion of new romance. It's one of those areas that you really do have to know in order to write about I've decided. At least for me. It's just been too long since I've felt those girly emotions and even then it was a feeling with no basis in reality and healthy relationships.

The problem is, how do I finish a story about the love between estranged spouses if I'm having trouble put that particular emotion on paper? That's something I guess I'm going to have to work on.

A day to read...what a gift

I used to sit and read all the time. It was my favorite thing to do. In recent years, I've not read as much as I would like. Perhaps I'm more busy, too picky with what I read (gone are the years of reading mindless romance novels), and just haven't had the motivation to read. I recently found myself on a train for 14 hours and remembered how much I enjoy reading a good novel...though I think my tastes are changing a bit. I find I have much less tolerance for mindless romance...though that could be the single person in me talking. I have a lot less tolerance for anything even romantically linked (valentine's day=eye rolling at the annoyingly cute couples out there).

Anyway, I was able on this trip to completely immerse myself in the story, and it was wonderful. It was a reminder that I need to make time for the things that I enjoy, and reading is still in my top 10.

a beautiful mess

Life is messy. There is nothing to do but live life and not become consumed with the mess. I am the mess but through the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ, I am also clean. I sometimes forget that. I let myself get distracted by the mess, and instead of focusing on the qualities of Christ that bring me freedom and truth, I focus on my brokenness. Yes. I am broken...but Christ has redeemed me and put me back together in a better, more complete way. Being broken and healed by Jesus has made me stronger than I ever was before. I thank God every day that he has brought the healing power of Christ into my life...that he has offered me grace and mercy...that he loves me.

true fiction

For the past several years, I've had this idea for a book, but I haven't had the courage to really start it. While it's not strictly a true story, it's based on something very real. I imagine this girl (currently named Parker), a teen who has burned every bridge and damaged herself along the way. It details her road to healing, health, and happiness.

I imagine it as a first person narrative, but I kind of get stuck there. I have a harder time with first person, because it's harder to set plot up.

I had thought about switching between two different characters, each on her way to healing. The other is named Emily (so far), and she is an adult who is struggling with her own demons as she tries to come alongside Parker and guide her.

It'll probably stay in the cooker a bit longer, but hopefully I'll be able to get the story out there sometime.

Digging Deep

I was working in my garden today preparing the ground for all the plants I bought all in the hopes of having some yummy veggies this summer. It was hard work. Really hard work. I had to soak the ground with water and use a large forked hoe thingie (I'm not up on the latest gardening tool terminology, sorry.). But, no matter how hard I yielded that forked hoe and beat the ground, I couldn't pull up every weed that had decided to make my garden area its home. So, I got down in the dirt with my spade and mini-rake to dig deep and find the roots. It was hard work! Every time I thought I had cleared the area, I found another root, buried deep in the soil.

It made me think about how no matter how much we think we pulled up the roots of our former lives, casting aside the root of sin, there is always more work to do. We can't do it all. I try to root out the sin in my life. I scrape at it and pull it and beat it, mostly to no avail. It's not within my power to destroy it all. Only the greatest gardener of all can empty this soil of the sins that take root.

I also noticed that there were a lot of works making their homes in my garden. Worms, as opposed to the weeds, are wanted and needed in the garden to keep it healthy. So too is there many things in our lives that are good and needed for us to be healthy and productive. However, the stems of the weeds often looked like the worms themselves. I had to be careful not to mistake the bad for the good or to destroy the good as I killed the bad. Our lives are the same. There are many good things in our lives that we should be protecting and using for the Lord's purpose; however, there are also many bad things that are masquerading as good things. These bad things, while on the surface don't seem so bad, eventually they will crowd out the truly good things and destroy them, leaving the garden barren and useless.

This was a good reminder for me to remember that all the good things in the world can't compare to the great thing that is the salvation that comes from my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I need a life-threatening situation!!

I love putting my characters in danger...it gets the blood pumping (their's and mine) and ups the ante.  A story without conflict is B-O-R-I-N-G!!!  And, in a suspense novel conflict often translates into something involving guns, blood, death, fights...you get the picture.  I admit, I'm an action junkie.  I want to create fear and anxiety in my characters whenever it fits.  Why?  Because then you really see what that person is made up.  Yes, I do know they're just characters in a fictional story.  But, to me, they're alive and breathing (at least for now) and in the middle of the greatest adventure of their lives.  I want them to experience that adventure to the fullest.  I want the reader to go on this vicarious thrill ride all the time hoping that their favorite character will make it through relatively unscathed.

That brings me to W.t.W.W.Y.N. (still not overly enthused about the title, but I'm working on it).  I've come to this lull in the story, and I really want to push the story into action mode.  But, what to do?  Lizzie has already had her memory erased, she was nearly drowned and she was kidnapped...all that before her grandfather mysteriously dies.  I need more!!!!  I need her to feel the whisper of death on her neck so she can finally realize that what she's running from is the very thing that will save her.  

Any ideas?

Urgh!

I am trying to edit W.T.W.W.Y.N. but I've come upon a stumbling block.  I feel like I jump too swiftly between scenes and don't know how to fix it.  The problem is that I deleted a whole thread from the story and it was supposed to fit nicely between these two scenes.  But now that it's gone, I'm at a loss.  I feel like it's too abrupt, but I'm not sure how to fix it.

Also, do I add more danger in here?  I want to start transitioning into the third and final act, but the story isn't cooperating.  It drives me crazy!!!!!! 

Update:

Okay...so I fixed part of the problem by switching the order of a couple of chapters and deleting a whole other chapter.  Now, I just need to add some action because everything's getting a little bogged down in narrative.  

The Wizard of Oz

One book down!  I just finished The Wizard of Oz, and it's just as enjoyable as I remember it being as a child.  I'm curious about all the other Oz books; I know he wrote 14 of them in total.  I may have to pick them up at some point and give them a read.  

I totally recommend this for anyone who digs children's lit.  

books to read

I've decided that there are some books that I either haven't read or haven't read in a very long time.  My goal is to read these books in the next year.  I'll update this list as I go along.  

1. Wizard of Oz

2. Alice in Wonderland

3. Chronicles of Narnia

4. 

Francesca Corbette

This is just some thoughts on a new character.  Francesca is late 20's and prefers to be called Frankie. I imagine her story in the late 1880's, perhaps in Missouri or Colorado.  She's pretty, but not beautiful, more cute.  She has dark red hair that she keeps pulled back.  She is average height and weight.  She wears small, wire-rimmed glasses.  She always dresses conservatively, and she likes to keep absolute control over herself at every moment.

Despite, her deep need for control, she has a quirky sense of humor and a love of life.  She has been deeply hurt by the men in her life, so she rarely trusts men.  She keeps her fear veiled behind a shy facade.

She has had a falling out with the aunt and uncle who raised her and hasn't seen them in several years.  She also has a sister, Cordelia (called Cora or Cory).  Cordelia married young to her first husband.  He died early in their marriage, and she remarried to Curtis Landon, now with a young daughter (Maddie).  With Curtis, Cordelia has three children, James, Georgie, and an as-yet unnamed baby daughter.

I'll give more later.

random writing

I often tell my creative writing students that when they get writer's block, they should just write. They shouldn't think about the words or the setting or where they're going with it. They just need to write. I've realized that I just need to take my own advice sometimes.

I've felt kind of stifled recently...not able to move forward with Lizzie's story. I really want to finish it, but the words won't come. It's pretty frustrating. So, last night, I decided to get away from the computer and pick up a pen and pad of paper. That's pretty old school for me. I used to handwrite everything, but that managed to completely screw up my penmanship. For those of you unable to read anything I've handwritten, blame it on the stories. But last night, I decided to de-clutter my thoughts and start fresh. Just write.

I actually managed to write a page and a half in about 15 minutes. Pretty good, huh? It's a random story that I may not finish...it was inspired by my earlier genre post so it's set in the old west.

Really, though, wasn't to start another book that probably won't get past a chapter or two. It was to jump start the creative juices and remember how good it feels to create something from nothing.

Genre Discussion

There are so many genres out there that sometimes it's difficult to decide which one to write in.  I love to read historical (western not ancient or classical), suspense and thrillers (but not scary or political), contemporary romance but not gooey, mushy, romantic romance.  

I have imaginings of writing a suspenseful, romance set in the old west, but really, I don't know that it will ever come to be.  I think I write better in the contemporary.  

There are so many things to consider when writing in any genre, but I can't imagine the study and research that must go into the historical in order for it to seem real and accurate.  I love history; I'm just not sure I want to go into the deep research needed for a good story.  

living life numb

It's easy sometimes to just go along with life.  To stuff emotion.  To get used to the everyday and stop seeing the spectacular in every moment.  To consistently feed myself a diet of inactivity that spurs a sort of conscious-unconsciousness.  I stop feeling the moment and just go along.  

I realize that sometimes I easily numb myself to life.  I get tired, stressed, overwhelmed or just the opposite, bored.  Instead of stepping it up and living life, I become content to float along without really touching life, or letting it touch me.  I need to wake myself out of these moments with a splash of cold reality.  This is life.  This is my life.  Every moment of every day, and it's all I get.  So, what do I do to be consistently awake and aware?  Just live, I guess.  One moment at a time.

Tips for writing

A Few Writer's Tips from a Wannabe

1. Write.

2. Read. A lot.  Especially stories that have a similar tone/feel as what you want to write.

3. Write some more.

4. Find a friend who is honest to read what you've written.  

5. Take said friend's advice and cut the fat off the story.  

6. Keep writing.  

7. Find the passion in the story.  Don't fall into the doldrums but put your heart into it.

8. WRITE!!!

Goals

I've decided that I need to start setting some goals for myself with concern to my writing.  I don't write nearly enough, which means when I do, I feel kind of rusty.  This, in turn, leads to writer's block.  So...I need to think about what I want my goal to be this year.  

I know it's no longer January 1st, which is the prerequisite for resolutions, but I find I'm more likely to keep them if they aren't flash in the pan, it's a new year so I might as well decisions.  

So, what is my resolution?  I haven't decided that yet.  A good start would be if I just spent 15 minutes every day writing.  Does that mean it has to be fiction?  Could this blog count?  I'm not sure yet.  Of course, if it did, today would already be accounted for.  :-)  

Big.Brick.Wall.

That's what I've hit.  I decided to erase a character from W.t.W.W.Y.N., and that was going okay.  But I've come to this place in the story that I'm just stuck on.  There's this whole extraneous scene that I don't know what to do with.  I guess I just need to keep at it.  Something will present itself.  Soon, I hope.

creative me

I think deep in the heart of everyone is this intense desire to create.  Something.  Anything. Music.  Stories. Food. Art.  I always desire to create something.  But I find that often I have a difficult time settling down long enough to create anything.  My mind wonders and gets distracted.  I'm little a butterfly alighting on one flower only to notice the brightness of another.  I have a difficult time sticking to it. 

Tonight I created an apple pie for the mystery dinner I prepared for some girls at work.  I enjoy baking.  Maybe it's because I'm creating from scratch.  I swear it really is one of the nicest looking apple pies I've ever made.  I hope it tastes as good as it looks.

This idea of creating makes me think of God.  I think we must want to create to feel closer to him.  He is, afterall, the great creator.  He made us beings with this creative spirit inside.  I think he must be pleased when we create beautiful things for others to enjoy.  It makes me want to create more often.

finished another mystery

I finally got off the fence and finished up the murder mystery I was writing for the girls at school.  Good thing, too, since tonight is the night.  It should be a total blast.  

I really got into the last round this time.  I was very descriptive and really into it.  Then it occurred to me that that was probably because I haven't written much lately.  The creative part of my brain is dying of thirst!  I need to feed the writer within.  

old times

I was talking to some students today about the stories I wrote when I was in school, and I remembered my favorite.  For the life of me, I can't remember the title or even the main character's name, but it wasn't too bad for a 7th grader.  The main character (a girl I remember who had perfect hair, but a terrible judgment when it cam to her boyfriend) whose boyfriend suffered from multiple personalities.  Oh, and did I mention that he was a psycho killer?  Well, he was!  He'd managed to kill off his wife and three children and then terrorize our main character.  She managed to get away and lived happily ever after (I can't say the same for the poor murdered family...I remember that the children were Tamera and Tara and something else that started with a "t").  I need to find that story and just read it.  It's certainly nothing that I want to re-write, but it is fun to see where I've come from in my writing.

Unfortunately, I can say that I've barely thought about my writing recently.  Too many things on my mind and in my life.  I know that I have to make it a priority if I want it to pan out, but I don't know how right now.  I guess I just need to start budgeting my time better.  I need to go find that story now...memory lane beckons.

add some mystery to life

I've started writing on something that is not a book or a short story.  I've found I really enjoy writing mystery dinners for larger groups. I've done this a few times, and I'm working on one right now.  It actually takes a lot of my creative juices to come up with new characters, new scenarios, and unique ways to kill off the victim.  How do you top lopping off someone's head with a painting?  

I'm planning of doing this most recent game with my female students, and I'm sure they'll have a blast...well, I will at any rate.  The one bummer for me is that I don't actually get to participate in the night as a suspect.  I usually oversee the production and guide the participants. 

I just need to find a way to market this!  

sloshing through the mud

I've decided that sometimes writing is more like trudging through a pit of mud.  Imagine being knee deep in the thick, porous, brown gunk.  You're covered in the messy stuff from head to toe (there's even a little bit in your ear).  It doesn't matter how you got here, but here you are and you need to get to the island you see.  The island looks like an oasis, and it's ready to welcome you with open arms.  Unfortunately, you have to get through this mud first. 

At first, the going isn't too bad.  It's just a matter of lifting your leg up high enough to be free of the mud.  Sometimes you're successful and sometimes your shoe gets sucked off in the process. You think to yourself, "I can do this.  I can defeat the mud and be victorious!"  But give it a couple of feet and then you will feel the mud start to glue you down.  It's as though your being sucked into the vortex of mud.  You get tired and can barely nudge your foot, much less get your whole leg out of the stuff. All you can do is rest.  But, the longer you rest, the harder it is to get moving again.

Sometimes that's how my writing feels.  I get momentum going, and I do really well, and then suddenly I find myself stuck in place staring at the oasis.  And that oasis?  That beautiful place of respite and rest?  It seems nothing more than an illusion where if you're lucky you'll find a place to sit.  Who knows if it will give you all that it promised at the beginning of the journey?  

abrupt endings

I really hate when I'm enjoying a book and it ends abruptly.  I just finished reading Margaret Brownley's novel, A Lady Like Sarah, and while I enjoyed it, I thought it ended quickly. The story is about Sarah, the youngest in a family of outlaws, on her way to Rocky Creek to be hanged for a crime she didn't commit and Justin, a reverend from Boston who lost his post because a female parishioner didn't like being rebuffed.

 Truth be told, I wasn't that into the story for the first few chapters.  I felt that the relationship between the two leads seemed forced and was more based on sexual attraction rather than a deep understanding of the other.  They went quickly from the awkward beginning stage to loving one another.  I wanted to know Sarah and Justin deeper than I did.  As the story progressed however, I really enjoyed the conflicts Ms. Brownley forced her characters into (although there were more random incidents than I normally find in books) and the tension towards the end was well done.  

However, I was mildly annoyed that the only way Justin could think of saving Sarah from the gallows involved lying and encouraging her to escape justice.  What was even more annoying was that he never had to come clean about the lies; it was all brushed under the carpet under the guise of "for the greater good" of a baby.  I wanted him to rescue Sarah using his wits or his trust in God or the faith that a miracle could happen.  Sarah, on the other hand, was more than willing to trust her fate to God's hands.  

Overall, the story was enjoyable, however the ending seemed to pat.  The brothers decided to go straight (I'm sure they'll pop up in the sequels) and never faced any consequences for robbing numerous stages.  It seemed a little contrived as though the author realized she was running out of space and figured she could get to it in the next book.  

I enjoyed "A Lady Like Sarah" enough to read a sequel, and I hope that some of those loose ends would be addressed. 

autobiography finished

Well...I finished something!  I finished my 4 page autobiography.  Maybe now I can focus on some fiction.  Hmm...

cracking open a good book

I just realized that I haven't read a new book in forever!  I was at FCS today, just wandering the isles with my 35% off coupon when I came upon a new author (I think).  The book seems up my alley, Christian historical.  I have to admit that I LOVE historical novels set in the old west.  It's just so much fun!  I'm not sure that I would ever try writing one, but for an aimless Sunday, it seemed like a good read.  I'll let you know how it rates when I finish. 

I also found a devotional that seems perfect for me.  It's called "Paws for Reflection".  It's a devotions for dog lovers.  How could I resist?  If that wasn't enough, the first page I turned to just about sent shivers up my back.  Let me quote a line or two. "The true mark of a parent isn't giving birth to or owning a "child".  The essence of motherhood is loving, protecting, and caring for the youngster in question." That really spoke to my heart right now as I'm filling out endless paperwork and preparing my self emotionally to adopt the sweetest little boy.  I just know that regardless of what happens, God is totally in charge.

a writer's complaint...nothing to take too seriously

I find that I have a really hard time keeping myself on task with concerns to my writing.  Life just gets in the way.  Time? When do I have time or energy to write?  Actually, I probably do have the time; I just have a hard time motivating myself to write.

This is where a writers group or some like-minded writers would come in handy.  I could really use someone or several someones who would read what I've written and encourage me.  It would also give me a chance to do the same for someone else.  Why do I have such a hard time finding someone?

I've asked numerous people in my life, and while they are wonderful and I love them...well...they just don't seem to care about helping me to improve my writing.  There's always an excuse not to read what I just sent or they just aren't into it or they see lots to criticize but their comments aren't very constructive.  How do I believe in my own writing when the people, family and friends alike, by their behavior implicitly tell me that my writing is not worthy of their time or my efforts?  

Anyway...enough of my rant.  I suppose I should ignore the negative and get on with writing.