To Cut or Not to Cut, that is the Question

When I pick up a story again after a bit of time has passed, I always have to edit. I see things I missed before, I realize that a particular thread isn't working or that maybe character x should behave a different way about character y. It's just a given. I'm always going to find things wrong. That's why I have to re-read with a eye to the fact that the story will never be perfect. It's just not possible.

However, there comes a time when I realize that a great (in my opinion) portion of the story just doesn't work, and I have to cut it out. But, then I reason, maybe I can put it somewhere else. Sometimes that works. I have a particular cut in mind right now, and I'm hoping that I can rearrange it in the text and put it somewhere else. It just seems like such a good moment between two characters. It seems to reveal their hearts. Unfortunately, it no longer really fits with what comes before it. I'm going to try to fit in before, make that moment come earlier in the prose.

It's a bit like life I suppose. Sometimes we just have to recognize that what we're doing isn't working. No amount of ignoring problems, finagling situations, or manipulating people is going to change the facts. We are messed up people and we need to rely on the Author and Perfecter of our lives to bring our story to a satisfactory conclusion.

So, I'm off to make a few snips, and I'll let you know what the finished product looks like.

A thoughtful re-read

Recently it has felt as though I've been awakening from a long slumber. I've just been so overwhelmed with life and the chaos of impending change and so I've slipped into a kind of placid here and now. I wasn't really living, just going from day to day trying to survive with a modicum of grace and poise. Some days I've definitely been more successful than others. What can I say? I'm human.

Just over a month ago now I went on a women's retreat at Windemere in the Ozarks. It turned out to be an amazing time for me to reconnect with what's truly important in life and to wake up. Life is about more than getting by...there's so much more that I want for myself. I want to feel alive and useful and joyous and here in the moment of every minute. That retreat served as the alarm clock of life telling me to get my butt out of bed and get moving. I have things to offer. I have a purpose. My purpose is more than sitting in front of the television or the internet medicating myself into this numb state of oblivion. Life is messy and it's vibrant, and I want to be more than an observer.

One of the casualties of my self-medicating, intoxicating addiction to doing nothing was my creativity and my writing. I have stories in me that are dying to come out. I have something to say...something that God planted in me when I was still in the womb. I have a beautiful dream, and I've squandered it these past few months (years?), and that's not the way to live.

I have prided myself on being an independent, go for broke woman of God who doesn't let fear stop me from what needs to happen. Yet, somewhere along the way, I've gotten sidetracked, in fact, that's not the woman I've been. I've been distracted by fear and anxiety. That's not who God has called me to be. In 1 Peter 5:7 he proclaims through Peter "...cast your anxieties on the Lord for he cares for you." He cares for me! How crazy is that? I know I have a hard time believing it sometimes, but nonetheless, it's true. God loves me and wants more for me than I want for myself. Thank you God.

So, I've been going through this awakening process, and so much of it comes down to my writing. I have what it takes. I am not a failure...I have to remind myself of that. For whatever reason, I haven't successfully published a novel yet, but that doesn't mean I should give up. I need to write.

I hadn't read When Broken Sparrows Fly since I last edited it a few years ago. I'm a harsh critic, and I only see the problems with it. But, I felt led to re-read the story this weekend. And, guess what? There are still flaws and it's not perfect, but it's not half-bad either. Certainly better than some stuff I've read, though nowhere near as good as I'd like it to be. But, maybe the point wasn't for me edit this story anymore, maybe it was to jumpstart my desire to write in general. I have more to say. I just need to kick myself in the pants, and start putting those thoughts down.

I'll let you know how things are going with that.

CRASH! BANG! BOOM!

I have finally decided on a life threatening incident for W.t.W.W.Y.N. I think I'm going for a bad guy induced car accident. Something big and bad that shakes up the direction of the story. I really needed something to throw the story into a new direction and shake up the characters. We'll see if this works.

A tale not worth reading...

So, I'm reading this book right now, and it is really annoying. While the plot has some good points in its favor (a serial killer, on-line predator...), the author needs to brush up on her writing skills. The dialogue is sometimes laughably stupid, the plot points at times seem to fall to contrivance, there are barely any transitions, and worst of all, the author relies heavily on telling the reader what's going on rather than showing. When I read, I want to experience everything the characters are going through with them. I don't want the author to recap the last two days through thoughts or dialogue.

I realized as I was trudging through this story (which I must finish despite its only so-so writing) that reading something poorly written makes me want to write. I see that I can write...at least better than this. I just need to get to it!

writing what I know...how about what I feel?

I've realized lately that I don't like romance. I can write love and interest between a couple, but I can't put a lot of passion into it. I'm not talking the icky Harlequin version of passion (ya'll know what I'm talking about) but rather the passion of butterflies in the stomach and giddy emotions that come with the passion of new romance. It's one of those areas that you really do have to know in order to write about I've decided. At least for me. It's just been too long since I've felt those girly emotions and even then it was a feeling with no basis in reality and healthy relationships.

The problem is, how do I finish a story about the love between estranged spouses if I'm having trouble put that particular emotion on paper? That's something I guess I'm going to have to work on.

A day to read...what a gift

I used to sit and read all the time. It was my favorite thing to do. In recent years, I've not read as much as I would like. Perhaps I'm more busy, too picky with what I read (gone are the years of reading mindless romance novels), and just haven't had the motivation to read. I recently found myself on a train for 14 hours and remembered how much I enjoy reading a good novel...though I think my tastes are changing a bit. I find I have much less tolerance for mindless romance...though that could be the single person in me talking. I have a lot less tolerance for anything even romantically linked (valentine's day=eye rolling at the annoyingly cute couples out there).

Anyway, I was able on this trip to completely immerse myself in the story, and it was wonderful. It was a reminder that I need to make time for the things that I enjoy, and reading is still in my top 10.