reboot

There are times when we just need to start over.  Scrap an idea and go back to square one.  Or maybe just do some housecleaning...you know how it is.  Do you really need those disco pants from 1978?  Or those leg warmers?  Luckily, I never wore disco pants (I was 5 in 1978), and while I had leg warmers (striped teal and pink...very chic in 1983), they've long since hit the discard pile at Goodwill.  My point really isn't about going through my closet, it's more about cleaning out the garbage that stops me from enjoying the fullness of God in my life.  

I've been in this middle ground of being overwhelmed, anxious, and frustrated over a lack of movement in certain areas of my life.  And it has led to a little irritation at God for bringing about certain ideas into my life and then not following through on the promise made.  Unfortunately, that only leads to discontent and gives room for Satan to hand me the blocks I need to build that wall between me and God.  

I want to publish my book...or really anything at this point.  I want to find my own "Mr. Right" but God seems to think that taking the long way around is what I need.  I want to be a mom, and this beautiful opportunity might be presenting itself, but I'm stuck in all of these fears and doubts and frustrations that things are stuck in the mire of bureaucracy.  Where is the justice in this?  What is God telling me in this? 

I guess what he's telling me is to keep trying, keep hoping, keep waiting for he is there and will follow through.  However that looks, he has it all figured out.  Why do I keep having to figure this out?  Can't a lesson be learned once and remembered?  Why do I continually struggle through the same stupid territory?  When will I ever get it?